Blog Post
What's Driving You?
Jeanne Latiolais, Psy.D. • Oct 13, 2020

Emotions versus Logic - Who Wins?

We all have a memory that we'd like to erase - a time when we reacted instead of acted.  A time when we allowed our emotions to reign over us and regretted the outcome.  Maybe it was that angry outburst.  Maybe, it was a harsh email rant we cannot take back.  Maybe it was bursting into tears in front of your boss.  Why is it that, so often, emotions drive us?

One reason worth recognizing is that we are quite an emotion-driven culture.  Anger, sadness and revenge are often cited as legitimate reasons for poor self-control. Culturally, shutting down your conscience and going with your gut has become not only understandable, it is downright expected, glorified, and even idealized.  Suffered a bad breakup?  It's reasonable you would slash his tires and take a baseball bat to his headlights.  Heck, we might even make a clever country song about it.  

But how well does this serve us?  It feels good to be angry.  Often, it helps us mask very real, very painful emotions that are just under the surface; feelings like hurt, rejection, confusion, or guilt and shame.  But anger just leads to more anger, as any mature person has realized.  Or as the saying goes:  "Holding on to anger is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to suffer the consequences."

And, it feels good to have a good cry, too. It is certainly something I recommend (and practice myself!) when grieving or facing a gut-wrenching decision, for example.  But, we are in control of what happens next.  Our God-given, highly sophisticated frontal cortex is able to take all information into account - emotions as well as facts - and then anticipate outcomes and choose our next actions based on conscience and logic.  In other words, we don't have to go with our gut.  We can let reason be in the driver's seat.  

Does this mean we are to act as though we don't have feelings?  Not at all.  But, feelings are only one piece of information. When you consider the transitory nature of feelings, it's easy to see why feelings are usually NOT the most important piece of information when it comes to making decisions that will have effects in the long term.  And the research-backed benefits of self-control include de-cluttered thinking as well as higher levels of success in life than those who follow their emotional whims.

We can use our amazing reasoning ability to override our emotions.  It is not easy, but it is something that gets easier with practice.  Practice by placing your rationality deliberately in the driver's seat more often, exerting self-control over everything from whether to buy that pair of shoes you don't need, to tolerating an annoying but harmless habit in your spouse. 

The bottom line?  Let your reason take suggestions from emotions; but, always let reason have the final say.  
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