Willpower in Four Steps - Part Three - Action!
If you have followed this four-part series, you generated some
insight
into the problem
you want to change, which sets you on the path to giving yourself the control over the
problem. In Part Two, we used that insight to generate a
motivation
list.
By now you should be reading your motivation list daily. This will remind you of the
benefits that you will gain with the new behavior. If you wrote your list well, and
included every great outcome of your new behavior, you are already feeling pretty
motivated. The list is to re
mind you why a new behavior is
preferable
to an old one.
But you also must take action. For example, simply saying, "I will stop smoking because it is unhealthy for me" is not going to give you willpower. Smoking serves many purposes in a person's life . It is relaxation to some, social time to others, a much - needed break. Why give up these important benefits?
Your next step is to find a way to get the
benefits
of the old behavior
without
its negative
effects. This part is tricky. What was good about
the old behavior? What was positive,
enjoyable? What about it do you dread giving up? No one likes arguing with their
spouse, but maybe fighting was a way that you engaged with each other. No one likes
being overweight, but maybe food was your reward
at the end of a long day. As you
build the willpower to avoid spousal arguments, include new actions such as working on
a project together, starting a new sport, volunteering together. As you ditch your
unhealthy foods, find non
-
food ways to relax and reward yourself.
The action phase takes time. Your goal is doing the preferable behavior over and over
until it becomes habit. You will need one final element to solidify your changes--Stay
tuned for Part Four!