The day started well.  Then at some point it all came crashing down like a bad game of Jenga.  The worst part is, you didn't see it coming.  Before you know it, you've sent an expletive-filled text, cried in front of your boss, or ate a sleeve of Oreos.  You may be a victim of stacked stress.

We tend to think stress has large, external causes.  The dwindling bank account, the backstabbing coworker, or the looming class presentation. These stressors are easy to identify.  But the reality is that we operate everyday under multiple stressors, both internal and external, both small and large.  Some stressors are modifiable and some are not.  But all take up a percentage of your total capacity for any given day.  And when you are over capacity, you crash.   

Let's look at it this way.  You slept well, but wake a few minutes late.  The rushing around and extra cortisol add 8% to your morning anxiety.  You're out of eggs so you didn't eat your usual healthy breakfast - that's 10% depletion of your usual energy and stamina.  There's just a bit more traffic today, which adds another 4% of worry to your commute.   The stress begins to stack up, in small but accumulating increments, and its not even 9 AM. 

Extra adrenaline is circulating through your nervous system now.  But you didn't have time for a walk or workout, so you just have to sit with it (another 18%).  Maybe a chat with a friend takes a negative or gossipy turn (5%).  Maybe some negative self talk about running late on a project adds another 15%. 

While each of these factors is not devastating, you can see how they add up.  The time to help yourself is not when the 10th frustration steals your last ounce of tolerance.  The time to help yourself is with each challenge along the way.  Here are 3 easy ways to unstack your stress:

1.  Be on the lookout for capacity steals.  Spend the next few days noticing and recording the little stressors that may be affecting you.  Take some time to reflect on what these might be for you.  A spouse, good friend, or trained therapist can help you identify these.  Be on the lookout for the less-than-obvious.  Some of these I've seen in my clients are noise, constant busyness, other's (perceived) expectations, constant rushing even when we are not late, and perpetually skimping on sleep, just to name a few.  Note that even fun things can add to an already overstimulated nervous system, like a scary movie or an overly busy social calendar.
2. Be proactive.   Recognizing the healthy breakfast is important, so you are always prepared with the nutrition you need.  Making time for exercise, or a well-timed break by adding it to your calandar.  Avoiding negative people, conversations, or posts.  Deliberately slow your walking or talking when you are not rushed.  These small actions will chip away at the stress and take back your ability to tolerate. 
3. Be a good coach.   You can improve your capacity by building internal strength, too.  Build the  ability to coach yourself through a hard day, recognizing 'wins' and giving yourself credit and appreciation for the tolerance you have (or that angry text you didn't send).  Always take a minute at the end of the day to remind yourself what went well, what you'd do differently tomorrow - completing a mental restacking of the Jenga pieces in preparation for the next round!