Jeanne Latiolais, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
WILLPOWER 4
Willpower in Four Parts - Part Four - Acknowledgement
Willpower is a skill anyone can learn. This is the fourth, and possibly most key part of a
series on building willpower.
So far, we have generated insight,
to set you on the
path to giving yourself control over
the problem. Next, we used thatinsightto create a motivation
list. Reading your list
frequently reminds you of why the new action is preferable.
The action phase involves beginning the new behavior with a mindful eye on what kept the old behavior going. Incorporating enjoyable aspects of bad habits without the unhealthy side effects may take some time and thought to accomplish. But once you begin building this skill, you find your old habit is becoming less desirable and, more and more frequently, you are doing the small behaviors that get you closer to your goal.
Now comes the part that very few people do - and I have come to believe this step makes all the difference! Very few will look back at their changes and give themselves credit for each small victory. What will help make these changes permanent is consistent acknowledgement.
Every time you unwind at the end of a long day
without
a cigarette, you deserve credit
for that! Every time you reach for a
veggie snack
instead
of that bag of chips, you
deserve credit for that. And every time you focus on your spouse's strengths rather
than nagging about the little things, you deserve credit. You are changing your
behavior, and each of these single actions is
building and strengthening your new habit.
Each of these actions gets you a step closer to the person you want to be.
What does acknowledgement look like? Well, how would you encourage a friend who
was trying to change? Giving credit and celebrating small victories is as easy as a
verbal pat on the back. I also recommend you keep daily track of your
accomplishments so that you can see your progress. I love hearing clients "brag" that
they resisted the surprise plate of cookies someone brought to work,
or how they faced
a public speaking fear and volunteered to take on a small presentation.
However, some of my clients say it seems silly to acknowledge something they are
supposed to do anyway. To that I say: A good coach doesn't remain silent for months,
cheering "Nice job!" only when the athlete finally hits a grand slam. A good coach is
encouraging and rewarding each small positive improvement along the way, shaping
behavior.
So in acquiring the skill of willpower, don't make the mistake most peo
ple make: Don't
wait to celebrate when you reach your goal.
Acknowledge each victory along the way!